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Friending Your Exes?
Are you one of those? And why? Why do you need to be friends with your ex? What are you gaining from the friendship? How is it bettering your well-being and life? Has the ex moved on and are you being just as rude to the new person, as others may have been, when y’all were together? Is it really in the past? Or was it a mistake?
Well from my experience. Most people who break up. I’d say more than one time. I’m allowing one break up or break to realize you don’t know what you got until it's gone. Whatever the reason may be. And they’re aren’t any kids involved might I add. But, Even those fairy tale high school sweethearts that always break up to get right back together again because they were so deeply in love and no one else can do… I’ve even seen those eventually finally break-up.
I have never went back to an ex or hit up an ex past the - If you still tryna hit because nobody cheated, but, if you still tryna smash, I’m tryna smash phase because ain’t nobody cued up like that just ready to go… I have never went back to an ex.. Or have sent that.. Hey, What’s up text randomly after you just forgot about my ass, got off some good rebound dick that still got you worried enough to go and get tested… Hey. Just starting to do all right and let go. I’m moving on just got off the phone with my girls that told you that you don’t need my old tired ass… and then here come… Hey. I’ve always kept it moving.
Maybe that’s just me. Most of the time in my experiences for me… It either ended because of my poor decision making, not the right relationship at the right time - I couldn’t see where it would go or didn't like the possibilities for me for example if we were going to seperate colleges that are far from each other (and again, maybe that’s just me. I’m not a fan in far distance relationships. Like exceeding over 3hrs of time apart for an extended period of time… you can call it trust issues, you can call it insecure, you can call it whatever you like, I call it smart, I call it trying to increase my chances for success, there’s stuff going on right underneath your noses you wouldn’t even think is, which is why a percentage of people broken up are due to sneakiness and doubt, so what I look like to further decrease my chances of success by putting a constant obstacle literally in between - And note I don’t mean if it’s for work and they gotta get that money for a couple months or something , if you can’t trust em in that situation then you just can’t or maybe you can be cool wit it) Anyway, or the relationship ended because either one of us wasn’t ready to take that next step for whatever reason...
So why do I need to hit you up? Why would you be a better friend or whatever I was looking for afterwards then during?
So for me I feel like I don’t need to hit up my exes for these reasons or be cool with them really - which means how much did I really care about you at the end of the day and why should I impose on the growth of your life to constantly hit you up and try and get you back because... Maybe I am unsure of what I really want in life and on how to value relationships or maybe we really weren’t the best match for each other or just right now in time, in life.
I don’t need to hit you up because there’s nothing you were doing for me that I can’t do myself, might not have been that supportive in my ventures anyway, not a great listener when we were together of my problems or of me so what am I really contacting you about. What do you really do for me? Motivate me to do? Were you adding value to my life… Or a liability
People break up for so many reasons. Snores in their sleep, fat, lazy, etc. Do you need to really be friends with your ex? My final answer is no. My mom said you are lucky to leave this world having 1. Really lucky if you have 2 people you can say are truly your friend. Pick up the phone after not talking in a while and leave off as if nothing has changed. Yes, we date and eventually hope that the significant other that we are dating becomes one of our best friends or could be your best friend from the start. But, At some point, when their eventually with someone else who replaces that void, the dynamic of that relationship has to change out of respect and usually takes a backseat. And if it doesn’t, then maybe… idk
My job is to get you to think. Not to persuade you or make you think like me. But, just to question what is around you. Why are things the way they are? Why do people think the way they do about certain things?
So take time today to unfriend your ex and ask yourself. Is this really good for my mental health. Is too much time and energy still fixated on nostalgia. Are you checking in on them in ways of more than just a friend and don’t even realise it. It’s okay to let people go and if they’re really meant to be in your life it shouldn’t be a struggle or forced. It should just happen naturally.
If you are looking to get something off of your chest or want to present a question to maybe get some insightful answers or if you just have a good story you want to tell. We would love to have you on the show!
If you have any suggestions, comments or topics that you would like to have on the show. Send them to my Twitter @IntrovertDame. Also, Follow me on Instagram @IntrovertDame and Facebook @IntrovertDame.
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