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Is This You… Comparing your relationship to everyone else’s? Are you… INSECURE?
I think everybody at one point or another does this. If you are really honest with yourself. Is it hard not to compare your relationship to anybody else’s or even others you may have seen before, for example, your parents? How does your past experiences with relationships affect your life moving forward? Is it good or bad to compare your situation to others? Can you even help yourself from doing it subconsciously?
An insecure person, would be introverted, lacking self confidence. Not knowing your own worth. Do you find yourself disliking your physical appearance & constantly comparing yourself to your peers. Never feeling good enough, feeling sorry for yourself.
It's hard not to I know. In my opinion harder than ever. You literally have the people that have created instagram and facebook removing themselves from using it and saying the harmful, dangerous effects that social media creates. I try not to engage except for promoting my creative outlets. I am a private person naturally and I honestly don’t like using social media platforms like that. Mainly because people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents (Bhad Babie - Catch Me Outside, How Bout Dat), ungrateful and unholy,
So, If you are an avid social media user and your answer to these questions were: No, you don’t compare your relationship or life to anybody else’s, put doubt in your head about your physical appearances, etc. How is your answer NO. HOW!! When social media causes you to constantly compare yourself to your peers and further trap you into trying to Keep Up With The Kardashians. Compete for clout and show off your relationship and status at every turn. When I’m dating in this day and age I have to say up front. I don’t post on social media, I don’t care about social media. Our relationship will not be broadcasted and posted everyday via the internet because that’s not me. And if you’re one of those die hards that needs everybody to know and verification from the world then we won’t do. I don’t mind maybe a pic here or two if it’s a good vacation or something. But, I’m not going to be that couple that’s out on a date and be more into each other’s phone and posting, scrolling to see what everybody else is doing, then enjoying each other and the actual date itself. Actually eating the food without thinking about posting it.
Who are we trying to impress anyway? Who are we doing it for? Are we trying to make other people jealous or our exes? Or is it all just reality tv in real life. Constantly being plugged in and entertained. Addicted! And if not addicted it’s hard to avoid what you see if you are exposed to all of these many media outlets and stories. So what’s the big deal? What’s the big deal if you do compare yourself to others.
Well, for your own personal sanity I would say it works for me to not worry about what others and couples are doing. Nothing ever appears as it me seem. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. You may think your shit don’t stank, but, if you lean a little bit closer you’ll see roses really smell like Ooo Ooo Ooo!Different strokes for different folks. What works for someone else may not work for you. We’re constantly bombarded in society of pressures of the ideologies of relationships and how the perfect scenarios of situations should go because of TV, Movies, News & The Media. Again, another hurdle and obstacle to overcome if you try to deviate from societal norms. What do mean? For example, how do you think your wedding proposal should go? What do you want your actual wedding day to be like and why? Do you need a wedding ring to be married? Why and does the size of the ring matter? What does your ideal partner look like and why? What’s the criteria for you? Etc. Who and/or what, placed these ideas in your head of how these should be and go for you? Where did you learn to place value on these things and deem them as important?
My job is to get you to think. Not to persuade you or make you think like me. But, just to question what is around you. Why are things the way they are? Why do people think the way they do about certain things? And challenge them. Challenge them to see if their frame of reference for things in life stems from television, movies, and media rather than real life and experiences. And I’m sure that once you do. You will find out just how programmed and indoctrinated people are into Western civilization societal norms.
That they piece together what they see on tv and some of what they get exposed to around them to piece together conclusions based on other peoples experiences or what someone else created and how they perceive things. Like this platform right here. But, again, I just want to get you to think.
So take time today to unplug and focus on either yourself or just you and your partner and what’s going on around you. You learn to spend more time getting to know yourself and/or your partner. Ask more questions about life, yourself and your values. That’s the best thing to do to navigate through these times, at least for me, as to not get distracted by others, depressed, and worry about feeling lonely because your trying to focus on appealing to an audience. You have to have emotional walls, be strong and not let your energy be drained by your surroundings.
If you are looking to get something off of your chest or want to present a question to maybe get some insightful answers or if you just have a good story you want to tell. We would love to have you on the show!
If you have any suggestions, comments or topics that you would like to have on the show. Send them to my Twitter @IntrovertDame. Also, Follow me on Instagram @IntrovertDame and Facebook @IntrovertDame.
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