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Who Should Pay For What When Dating?
Who pays on the date, Should the guy always pay? My friend, that is white male suburban caucasian for those it matters to said, “Naw fuck that shit I’m telling her up front I don’t got it like that. If we wanna do something fun we can both put in together or maybe if we go out it might be better we pay for our stuff separately. I started dying laughing as he went on to say that he was usually, in his younger days, didn’t have money like that and he was up front about that.
I share similar sentiments although I have and do usually find myself over extending my pockets to court the female and/or if you will impress her which of course now I know is a big big mistake. But, a lot of the times I found myself wanting to do something maybe and rather do it alone or with friends I’d rather take the person that I was talking to. And if you are the one that really wants to go and do something and maybe the other person would never think or want to do that, then why should they have to pay. They may not have the money now when it’s convenient for when you want to go.
So, I have mixed feelings about the issue. I am raised to be a chivalrous man and with some of those old school values. However, I can not say that the nice guy or chivalrous man doesn’t get taken advantage of more, overlooked or under valued either. You may have heard the old saying before, Nice guys finish last. Females graviting and liking the bad boy and a little, spice and danger over the one that will treat them right. It happens everyday and from that aspect that’s where I’d prefer to hold on to my money, time, energy and experiences spent and wasted on people that don’t appreciate it or won’t be around in your life long enough to reminisce about the good old days. When that time, energy, and money can be invested in a more long term deal and be shared with people who are going to be in your life. That’s my 2 scents on the matter.
Again If you are just joining us we are talking about who should pick up the bill and pay? Are there any circumstances where it is okay to step away from the societal norm of who should get the bill? Have we already stepped away from the societal norms if you consider the many types of relationships and genders that we have today?
But, I also wanted to expand on something I said earlier about how spending a bunch of money on the wrong with to have fun. It isn’t always the best things. Like I said if you won’t be around later to share that memory with then I’m not trying to do all that with you. And sometimes you don’t know who’s going to be around or not I understand. Life’s a gamble and everything has risk. I’m just saying try your best to hedge your bet in something with the most reward.
I ain’t sayin she a gold digger, but, she ain’t messing.. Hmm.. What isn’t she messing with?
Societal pressures is a mother fucker man. I think it was Dave Chappelle. Great comedian, he has such a great perspective on life. I think I heard him say all the cars and clothes didn’t impress the opposite sex then we wouldn’t do it. Anyway forgot all the rest y’all can research it and find it.
My job is to get you to think. Not to persuade you or make you think like me. But, just to question what is around you. Why are things the way they are? Why do people think the way they do about certain things?
So take time today to how your partner feels when it’s their pockets constantly making things happen. Switch roles for a couple of days or maybe even a week. Learn to appreciate what the other does for you? Whatever the case may be… Whether it’s planning an event, cooking, cleaning, communicating, etc. Communication is key to all things in life. If we don’t talk to each other and share our thoughts then some people are so oblivious or consumed in the system or with their life to ever think about how you may feel, how something is bothering or affecting you. So be strong and have courage to speak up. Remember, a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
“The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to forget is the happiest.”
If you are looking to get something off of your chest or want to present a question to maybe get some insightful answers or if you just have a good story you want to tell. We would love to have you on the show!
If you have any suggestions, comments or topics that you would like to have on the show. Send them to my Twitter @IntrovertDame. Also, Follow me on Instagram @IntrovertDame and Facebook @IntrovertDame.
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